Desires and apprehensions

Hello, I have several desires that @Maitre_Yannick is trying to help me satisfy. But, as they draw closer to becoming reality, I go through a phase of apprehension. Indeed, in my imagination, everything is perfect, it's exciting, tempting and above all it goes my way. In reality, everyone experiences situations according to themselves but also to others. Although Maître's presence is reassuring because I know he will watch over everything, I know that one second, one wrong move, one bad decision is enough for things to go off the rails. But should I worry about the if? In the moment, I try to set the if aside, to live and seize pleasure and sensations. I very much want to relive a situation without Maître's presence necessarily. A desire that has existed for a long time but fear and apprehension block me. I thought this situation could be lived again in a privileged setting and context but apparently I was mistaken. Well, after all, it was the easy solution. As a result, if I want to experience it, I will have to face fear and apprehension. But will I do it? I'm not sure, because when I weigh things up, the risks are heavier than the situation and the pleasure taken. Even if it would be something significant for me...