From Fantasy to Reality

The fantasy

I was 17, he was 21. He wasn't very tall, not the most introverted one in the family, he had deep blue eyes, a gaze you could lose yourself in, a back you wanted to dig your nails into, butt cheeks that call for determined hands, a smile you'd devour mouth and all, a sense of humor to make your jaw drop (or maybe I was just naive^^), but above all... he was my then boyfriend's cousin... so, hands off! Even thinking about it was already wrong, but god, how badly I wanted him!

5 years... 5 years in a relationship with his cousin, sincere love, but that desire for him... every family meal, I felt a heat take hold of me when I saw him appear, a knot of discomfort too... my conscience scolding me as well, but my stronger desire meant that every time I could look at him, whatever the angle... my eyes slid over him hungrily!

Despite the breakup with his cousin, I never allowed myself to confess anything to him! as a result, breakup with the cousin, breakup with the rest of the family... but I was also going through a difficult phase in my life.

The reality

20 years later... He sees me signed up on a dating site, but sneaky as he is, he doesn't tell me anything; I, on the other hand, hadn't noticed he was signed up, since I never logged in anyway^^

I get a friend request on Facebook from him. Oh! Surprise! does he remember me? is it a coincidence? I accept the request, without saying a word, I wait to see... but nothing! crap! It's driving me craaaaaazy!

I crack. A few days later, I send a message: "hello... is this a coincidence, or do you remember me?" and well, the reply doesn't take long! "I remember you very well!" Let me tell you, I tumble 20 years back... that heat flooding me again!

He doesn't waste time letting me know it was the same for him, but I was off-limits!!! he watched me out of the corner of his eye whenever he could... but he blamed himself just as much as I did.

Since the desire was out in the open, we didn't drag our feet; two days later, I was at his place for the weekend, a 3-hour drive from home! 3 hours of driving, fear, stress... "what if he doesn't like me anymore?" I've aged 20 years, had 2 pregnancies, put on a few kilos... but once again, the desire is too strong, so I go for it, I know he's waiting for me, that he's "going in circles" as he tells me.

There I am, I'm here, and we're like two idiots... but theeeee desire! we cuddle right away! But we become civilized people again and have a drink, then 2... and hands start wandering, glances meet, bodies brush, lips call out... there, finally...

That softness in his eyes, that desire in his hands as he undresses me, that intensity in his sex hardening under my fingers, that heat coming off our bodies as they tangle together... we're off, that's it, we're no longer anything but two bodies drawn to each other, hands traveling over one another, eyes devouring each other, breaths coming short...

Everything is so fluid, so intense... as if we had always made love together, no awkwardness, no "oops sorry," just the logical continuation of this desire unspoken for 20 years; this fantasy becomes reality, we breathe each other in, we hold each other tight, we stop sometimes, just to look at each other and smile.

And finally the moment comes when the intensity of the caresses leads us to that moment, the moment of his penetration, that magical moment... where he stops, above me, just before going in, he looks at me with an intensity I had never known, and says, "fuck, there it is, here we are!" I melt with pleasure, absolute ecstasy, I feel every centimeter going in. Once again, I read the same pleasure in his eyes, I feel his pleasure, we're both trembling... we slow down, to make that pleasure last... too intense, too much wanting... we can't wait any longer, climax is coming, once again, in sync... coming together, what a delight!

We don't talk, we look at each other, kiss, caress, cuddle... desire, when it has us in its grip... we don't resist for long! But this time, I want to control his pleasure, I want to make him feel how hungry I am for him! I guide my hand toward his sex, and I move down his torso while looking him straight in the eyes, my eyes saying "hang on, because now, I'm taking control!"

I delicately bring my tongue to the head of his cock, I rest it on top, or rather underneath, I look at him, and take his head between my lips, my tongue pressed firmly against his sex, I slowly go down, until I feel him at the back of my throat, and hearing his moan at that moment only turns me on even more... I enjoy his rising pleasure, I slow my back-and-forth to let it come down a little, my hand follows the movement of my mouth, I play at gripping him more or less firmly between my lips, with gentle descents to the back of my throat, or more direct descents that make him moan even louder, while I feel my own arousal running down my thighs...

I keep up the rhythm, I go up and down, deep down, I love it, my hand follows, it's sloppy, it's good, it's intense, he comes in my mouth, but I don't let up, he lets me do it, so I carry on, more gently, he keeps coming... and finally says, "what kind of crazy thing have you just done to me?" and me, satisfied... "I warned you!" :-D after that I wasn't allowed to touch him anymore^^ too sensitive... oops! well, not for too long anyway... desire, when it has us in its grip, right... but I'll keep the rest to myself :-)

I wanted to share this moment with you, so powerful, so intense, and so healing for my body and my desires... I hope you enjoy reading it, maybe even imagining it... up to you!

Along with a photo... of me remembering that moment 🎉